(Volume 26 Issue 6)
By Michael Nickerson
Great news! I found my dream car. It’s long, low, red, and ends in “ghini.” However there is a small problem. You see, it’s a tad expensive; a couple of million to be precise. So I hope you will forgive this article, but I need to make a little extra pocket change, and what a better way to do that than sow some dissent in the military! Pays big bucks to be a disruptive jerk don’tcha know.
Funny thing is, I didn’t really know my true earning potential until recently. I was just happy to submit my ideas and hit the pub on the proceeds. Ah, but now I see the light, and it’s all thanks to Canadian Army Maj. John McEwen. Perhaps you heard of him? He is an Info Ops Practitioner (whatever that is) and self-proclaimed social media guru who recently took both Scott Taylor and David Pugliese to task for “sowing dissent” with their “garbage” in such inconsequential publications as the Halifax Chronicle Herald and the Ottawa Citizen, to say nothing of this very magazine. Major McEwen’s gripping critique can be found on LinkedIn, that busy hub for rebuttal favoured by social media experts everywhere.
Now no one likes to be criticized, but the old theory was that without dissenting opinions, there wouldn’t be much change to the things we all really would like to see improved. Galileo pointed out that the earth isn’t the centre of all things, which helps to know when you want to go to the moon, if nothing else, and Newton made it clear that falling apples weren’t just a nasty trick by God. All very useful that, but it won’t buy you a Lamborghini.
And that’s where Maj. John McEwen opened my eyes. As he so adroitly pointed out, Scott and David weren’t doing what they do because they see problems and injustices to be corrected. Nope, they were doing it for money! Huge bags of cash! They’ve been running all over Ottawa in their fancy cars as if they’ve owned the place for years; living high and living large. I was just never able to put two and two together until now.
So when I say that it’s a national tragedy that some 5000 Canadian veterans are homeless in this country, I’m not jumping on the current media bandwagon concerning the issue, I’m just trying to earn enough to reserve a seat so I can bid on my 1971 Miura and drive with the big boys in journalism. The fact that Diane Claveau, a graduate of the Royal Military College in Saint-Jean, Quebec and an eight-year veteran is now living out of a van is simply information I can use to make money, not make a change. So let’s sow some dissent. Cha-Ching!
Sadly I haven’t earned enough yet, so let’s keep going. Did you know that it was recently reported that after four years, Operation Honour was and is essentially a bust? Sexual assault and misconduct has not changed one bit during the entire tenure of Chief of Defence Staff General Jonathan Vance, and despite all the well-meaning attempts by many to change military culture the whole thing’s a complete failure.
I obviously don’t type those words out of some sense of concern for military personnel who have been assaulted, or worry that a toxic work environment is leading many to give up a career they dreamed of. I certainly wouldn’t be typing such silliness to embarrass senior brass so they wake up and deal with a problem that sullies the good name of the majority of soldiers in this country.
No sir, I do it for the big payday. I couldn’t care less about the men and women in uniform in this country, our veterans, or their families. I’ve always been in it for the money. It’s just that until recently I didn’t understand how lucrative it could be. Thank you, Maj. McEwen…let’s sow some dissent indeed!